Really?
Well, how about a little "you and me"?
You're insane.
I thought I was a Pisces. Come on.
JOKER: Let's make up. Have a little...
...whiff of my posy.
[Vicki screams]
JOKER: Help me!
I'm melting!
I'm melting! Help me! I'm melting!
[Vicki screams]
[Glass shatters]
[Swooshing sound]
[High-pitched hissing]
Hold on.
[Vicki screams]
Where does he get those wonderful toys?
BATMAN: Get in the car. VICKl: Which one?
[Car engine roars]
[Tires squeal]
[Crash]
[Gunshots]
[Vicki screams]
[Crashing]
[Police sirens blaring]
[Vicki screams]
[Hissing and clanking]
Let's go.
[Sirens scream]
[Tires screech]
[Running footsteps]
BATMAN: Shields.
[Clanking, buzzing and hissing]
[Metallic clanking]
[Vicki screams]
How much do you weigh?
About 108, I think.
[Tires squealing]
[Hissing]
Hold on.
[Car screeches to a halt]
[Vicki screams]
BATMAN: Grab that thing on my belt.
BATMAN: Don't let go.
[Vicki screams]
[Grunting and groaning]
[Gunshot]
GOON: No blood.
Who is this guy?
Check his wallet.
- Wait. - What is that?
GOON: Some kind of body armor. He's human after all.
Take off the mask.
BOB: Shoot her!
[Gunshots]
[High-pitched raging scream]
[Swords clink]
[Loud hissing of sword cutting the air]
BATMAN: Shields open.
[Mechanical buzzing and hissing]
[Engine revs]
[Sirens blare]
BATMAN: You weigh more than 108.
VICKl: Really? BATMAN: Let's go.
Stop.
[Vicki gasps]
[Batmobile screeches to a halt]
Where are we going?
[Dramatic instrumental music, background]
[Vicki screams]
BATMAN: Be careful.
[Clanking of lever, explosive sound]
[Bats flapping their wings]
[Whispers] Bats.
BATMAN: They're great survivors.
VICKl: What is all this? BATMAN: The police have got it wrong.
They're looking for one product.
The Joker's tainted hundreds of chemicals at the source.
VICKl: Then whole shipments would be poisoned.
And we'd all be dead.
BATMAN: No.
The poison only works if the components are mixed. Hairspray won't do it alone.
But hairspray mixed with lipstick and perfume will be toxic, and traceable.
How did you figure this out?
BATMAN: Take that to the press.
I might have trouble with that.
A lot of people think you're as dangerous as the Joker.
BATMAN: He's psychotic.
Some people say the same thing about you.
BATMAN: What people?
Well, let's face it.
You're not exactly normal... are you?
BATMAN: It's not exactly a normal world.
VICKl: Why did you bring me here?
VICKl: You could have sent that stuff to the press yourself.
BATMAN: You're right.
BATMAN: There is something else you have that I want.
VICKl: What?
[Bats screeching]
[Vicki moans]
He took the film.
[Phone rings]
Yeah?
Where have you been? Are you okay? Should I come over?
VICKl: No, Allie.
If I bring something to you, can we make the evening edition?
Just barely. Is it hot?
Yeah, it's real hot.
Yeah, bye.
Copy!
Avoid the following combinations:
Deodorants with baby powder, hairspray, and lipstick.
Safe products are flying in as Gotham City goes on a forced fast.
And all of Gotham is wondering what to make of Batman.
Friend or foe?
I have given a name to my pain...
...and it is Batman.
[Gunshot, minor explosion]
You must possess strength to inflict pain, Bob.
We've got a flying mouse to kill...
...and I want to clean my claws.
ALFRED: Sir, Miss Vale called again.
ALFRED: Dare I suggest that your present course of action...
... might simply strengthen her resolve?
She is quite tenacious.
You're right.
And quite special. Perhaps you could try telling her the truth.
[Doorbell rings]
VICKl: Coming.
Hi.
May I come in?
BRUCE: This is a nice apartment.
Lots of space.
Listen, I came over to...
...clear... - I don't know who you think you are!
- You hurt me. - I know.
VICKl: I called you and called you. And you lied! You lied about leaving town.
- Let me tell you why. - Let me tell you!
I thought we felt something. And I trusted you.
I even slept with you.
Then you wouldn't return my calls. You must be some kind of jerk.
You're a real nice girl and I like you a lot, but right now, shut up.
I have something to tell you.
[Bruce sighs]
You know how people have... different sides to their personality?
Uh huh.
Sometimes...
...a person will have to actually lead a different life.
Oh, my God, you're married.
No, I'm not married.
You see...
...my life is really...
...complex.
All right, listen. You know how a normal person gets up and...
...goes downstairs...
...and eats breakfast...
...and kisses somebody good-bye, and goes to...
...a job, and, you know...
No.
Look.
What I'm trying to tell you is...
Hey, it's okay.
VICKl: You can tell me. BRUCE: Okay.
[Doorbell rings]
What I'm trying to tell you is...
[Doorbell rings again]
VICKl: I'll be right back.
[Vicki screams]
JOKER: Miss me?
Nice place you got here. Lots of space.
Vicki, we've really got to talk.
JOKER: I'm very upset.
JOKER: We were having dinner.
I was a man doing well with a beautiful woman.
And without so much as an apology...
...you ran off with that sideshow phony.
You know...
...I've recently had a tragedy in my life.
Alicia...
...threw herself out a window.
Oh, my God.
But...
...you can't make an omelet without breaking eggs.
[Vicki screams, Joker cackles]
Well, Miss Vale...
...another rooster in the hen-house?
Take thy beak from out my heart.
Bruce...
Bruce... Wayne, n'est-ce pas?
BRUCE: Most of the time.
I know who you are.
Let me tell you about this guy I know, Jack.
Mean kid. Bad seed. Hurt people.
I like him already.
[ Joker and Bob cackle]
You know what the problem was?
He got sloppy. You know, crazy.
He started to lose it. He had a head full of bad wiring, I guess.
Couldn't keep it straight up here.
He was the kind of guy who...
...couldn't hear the train until it was two feet from him.
You know what happened to this guy, Jack?
Well...
He made mistakes.
Then he ended up with his lights out! Now you want to get nuts?
Come on! Let's get nuts!
Tell me something.
Have you ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight?
What?
I always ask that of all my prey.
I just like the sound of it.
[Gunshot, Vicki screams]
Never rub another man's rhubarb.
Why is it, every time I come for you...
...somebody always gets in the way?
JOKER: I'll need a moment alone.
I'm only laughing on the outside.
My smile is just skin deep.
If you could see inside...
...I'm really crying.
You might join me for a weep.
[ Joker cackles]
[Vicki gasps]
[Metallic clanking as tray falls]
[Vicki gasps]
[Ambient newsroom sounds]
VICKl: You really wouldn't believe it.
KNO X: While you were entertaining, I've been finding out about your street corner.
KNO X: I think your friend is screwed up.
VICKl: More good news.
Oh, my God!
His parents were murdered in that alley.
That's why he went there.
KNO X: He watched it happen in front of him.
VICKl: Look at the look on his face.
It was the same at City Hall.
What do you suppose this does to a kid?
Vale...
Don't get personal!
BRUCE: Alfred...
Did you get the file on my parents?
ALFRED: It's on your table.
BRUCE: Thank you.
BRUCE: What's on your mind, Alfred?
ALFRED: I have no wish to fill my few remaining years...
...grieving for the loss of old friends...
[Metallic clanking]
...or their sons.
[Scattered conversations]
[Banging on microphone]
MAYOR: The 200th anniversary birthday gala...
... has been indefinitely postponed.
We cannot guarantee public safety.
JOKER: Joker here.
TECHNICIAN: We got interference.
JOKER: Now you fellows have said some pretty mean things.
Some of which were true under that fiend...
... Boss Grissom.
He was a thief... and a terrorist.
On the other hand, he had a tremendous singing voice.
JOKER: He's dead now, and he's left me in charge.
I can be theatrical...
... and maybe even a little rough.
But one thing I am not...
... is a killer!
[Young people laugh]
JOKER: I love a good party.
So, truce.
Commence au festival!
JOKER: And I've got a surprise for Gotham City.
At midnight, I will dump 20 million in cash...
... on the crowd.
[Crowd gasping]
JOKER: Don't worry about me. I've got enough.
We are not prepared to discuss any deals.
You heard it, folks, 20 million.
JOKER: And there will be entertainment.
The big dukeroo. With me in one corner, and in the other corner...
... the man who has brought real terror to Gotham City...
... Batman.
JOKER: Can you hear me?
Just the two of us.
Mano y mano.
I have taken off my make-up.
JOKER: Let's see...
... if you can take off yours.
[Clicking footsteps]
[Ominous choral music, background]
[Echoing footsteps]
[Echoing gunshots, distorted screams]
JACK: [Distorted voice] Tell me, kid.
Have you ever danced with the devil by the pale moonlight?
Let's go!
GOON: Let's go, Jack!
See you around.
VICKl: Am I crazy?
That wasn't just another night for either of us, was it?
VICKl: We both got to each other, didn't we?
Why won't you let me in?
Why?
You got in.
I've loved you since I met you.
But I don't know what to think of all this.
Sometimes I don't know, either. It's just something I have to do.
Why?
Because nobody else can.
Look...
I tried to avoid all this, but I can't.
This is how it is.
It's not a perfect world.
It doesn't have to be a perfect world.
I just have to know, are we going to try to love each other?
I'd like to.
But he's out there right now.
And I've got to go to work.
[Metallic clanging]
[Dramatic instrumental music]
[Engine revs]
[Gunshots]
[Metallic clinking]
[Thunderous explosion]
JOKER: Into the air, Junior Birdman!
Miss me?
[ Joker cackles]
JOKER: Yeah! Watch me!
[Helicopter propellers pelting]
[Pop rock song by Prince continues, background]
[Ambient festive sounds]
[Crowd cheers]
Get them. Take the pictures.
Gotham's greed.
[Dramatic instrumental beat]
And now, folks...
... it's time for, "Who Do You Trust?" Hubba, hubba, hubba!
Money, money! Who do you trust?
Me? I'm giving away free money.
And where... is the Batman?
He's at home, washing his tights.
[ Joker cackles, crowd cheers]
Winged battle flies through the night and finds me ready.
Bob. Mask.
Masks! Put them on now!
JOKER: And now...
... comes the part...
... where I relieve you, the little people...
... of the burden... of your failed...
... and useless lives.
But, as my plastic surgeon always said, "If you've got to go...
"... go with a smile. "
My God.
VICKl: Smylex gas.
He's going to kill everybody!
KNO X: Get in the car. Get in the car!
[Sounds of panic and chaos]
Hurry!
[Vicki screams]
[Crowd yelling and screaming from panic and fear]
[Swooshing sound of Batmobile]
[Glass shatters]
[Minor explosions]
[Swooshing sound]
[Sounds of chaos]
[Tires screech]
Aaa...
[Crash]
[Swooshing sound]
[Beep]
My balloons!
They're my balloons!
[Hissing and clanking]
He stole my balloons!
Why didn't somebody tell me he had one of those... things?
Bob. Gun.
[Gunshot]
I'll need a minute or two alone, boys.
Get out of here!
[Gunshots]
[Yelling and screaming]
[Beeping]
[Clanking and hissing]
Come on, you gruesome son of a bitch. Come to me.
[Beep]
[Multiple gunshots]
[Beeping]
[Multiple gunshots]
[Gunshots]
[Engine roaring]
[Explosions]
[Roaring explosion]
[Flames crackling]
[Explosions]
JOKER: Darling.
JOKER: I've got to get you to the church on time.
GOON: Yes, sir?
Gotham City Cathedral. Transportation for two.
GOON: Right away, sir? JOKER: Five minutes.
Better make it ten.
[Metallic clanking]
[Crashing and banging]
[Ominous instrumental music, background]
[Sirens blaring]
[Crash]
GORDON: Let's go.
Point those searchlights at the tower. Now! Move!
JOKER: [Voice echoing] It can be truly said that I have a bat in my belfry.
JOKER: Shall we dance?
[High-pitched screaming]
[Waltz music plays]
[Goon yells]
[Crash]
[Grunting]
[Crash]
You know, without you...
...I just wouldn't want to go on.
[Vicki screams]
[ Joker cackles]
[Grunting and groaning]
JOKER: We were made for each other.
JOKER: Beauty and the Beast.
Of course, if anyone calls you "Beast"...
...I'll rip their lungs out.
[Kissing sounds]
Mr. Joker?
VICKl: You say such beautiful things.
And you're so powerful. And purple!
I love purple!
BATMAN: Excuse me.
Have you ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight?
[Crashing, banging, grunting]
I'm going to kill you.
You idiot!
You made me, remember?
You dropped me into the chemicals!
That wasn't easy to get over! And don't think I didn't try.
I know you did.
[ Joker groans]
[Fake teeth rattle]
[ Joker grunts and groans]
BATMAN: You killed my parents.
What?
What are you saying?
BATMAN: I made you, but you made me first.
I was just a kid.
I say you made me, you say I made you.
How childish can you get?
You wouldn't hit a guy with glasses on?
[Vicki screams]
[ Joker cackles]
JOKER: What are you laughing at?
Let me lend you a hand.
[Vicki screams]
Lend you a hand!
JOKER: They don't make them like they used to!
Hey, Batsy!
[Helicopter propellers pelting]
There he is! Down there!
It's time to retire.
Feel free to drop in.
Sometimes I just kill myself!
Hold on!
[Swoosh]
[ Joker groans]
[ Joker screams]
[Vicki screams]
[Mechanical laughter]
HARVEY: Our police have rounded up all of the Joker's men.
The reign of crime is over.
Public safety in Gotham City is no longer a laughing matter.
- Aren't you covering the press conference? - No.
What about our Pulitzer Prize?
What about us?
What about your picture of Batman?
Take care.
HARVEY: We received a letter from Batman.
"Please inform the citizens of Gotham...
"... that Gotham City's earned a rest from crime.
HARVEY: "But if the forces of evil should rise again...
"... to cast a shadow on the heart of the city...
"... call me. "
KNO X: Question. How do we call him?
He gave us a signal.
[Dramatic instrumental theme song]
ALFRED: I thought champagne would be in order, ma'am.
VICKl: Hi, Alfred.
Mr. Wayne told me to tell you...
...that he might be a little late.
I'm not a bit surprised.
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